Chivalry Rocks!

Here’s the bottom line.   Men showing women respect through doing things for them is an American value.  Period.   That includes opening doors, carrying groceries, standing up for their honor and so much more.  In the wake of #metoo , we cannot let a bunch of inappropriate d-bags let us stray from this important part of American culture.    The single most important thing to consider on the topic of chivalry is this…intent.

A couple of years ago I was working in Miami with a female Sales Rep.  We were in the Industrial Supplies market, which basically means it was occupied by predominately alpha males.  In order for the few women who were in the industry to succeed, they generally  had to be pretty tough, as this Sales Rep was.  We walked into a welding shop which I knew well.  The owner is a personal friend, and is an extremely honorable man.   Being from Cuba, he greeted my female co-worker with what is customary to him, a polite kiss on the cheek.  I watched my female co-worker closely as I knew it was possible she would not appreciate this and wanted to be sensitive to her personal space.   She accepted the greeting for exactly what it was, a sign of chivalry.     While she and I were in the car after our sales call, we discussed the way in which she was greeted by the man she had just met.   She offered the comment “I was surprised at the way he greeted me, but I could tell he wasn’t being sleazy”.  She wasn’t preoccupied by the action, she took the intent into consideration.   At this point I should include some type of disclaimer that would typically start with “of course we should always respect a woman’s….blah blah blah”.   No disclaimer here, just some rules.  Chivalry is rooted in respect.   Respect has to include common sense.   If we use common sense in our actions, no disclaimer necessary!   Here are some things to keep in mind.

Men–  When it comes to chivalry, don’t be shy, just be smart and genuine.   We’ve already established intent as the key component.   If your intent is pure, it is the American way to treat women in a chivalrous manor.   It not only shows that we place significant value on our female co-inhabitants, but if done well it should make others feel special.   Doing something sincerely nice for somebody else isn’t wrong at all, it’s American.

Women–  Us men need you to look for the intent in our actions.   A lot of us still teach our kids chivalry, and it’s not a sign of weakness for you to accept and encourage this.    Here is the deal;  we (men) will make sure to teach respect & sincerity if you (woman) agree to not punish us for trying to carry on this American value.

Chivalry has nothing to do with men vs women, weak vs strong, capable vs not capable…etc.  This isn’t a women’s lib issue.  Nothing about chivalry is intended to be confrontational.   In true American culture, chivalry is a sign of kindness, which we all could use!  With all that’s going on in America around this subject, it’s time to double down on chivalry,  not pull away from it.  And to the ladies who are reading this, if we ever meet in person, know I will be giving you a polite, arms-only hug as a greeting.  Unless, of course, you give me the “don’t touch me” vibe.  Then, I will exhibit common sense and respect and offer up a hand-shake.

Live American Life my friends!

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